After a full 56 weeks away from my day job, I am taking off my 'Full time mum' bonnet and placing my 'career gal' cap back on. When I first went off, I remember thinking that a year was a lifetime. Especially as it wasn't going to be a holiday! I was swapping a full time job where I was confident and capable for a world of baby where I didn't know if I even belonged. My final day of work I was so caught up in the fact that I couldn't imagine being away for a full year that I started researching how I could come back within six months. Those pregnancy hormones mess with your mind! I was very fortunate to be able to save throughout the nine months to enable me to spend the full year off with Eva whilst paying myself. However it's time to go back and although I'm sad about the end of this chapter, I am looking forward to embracing our family's 'new normal'.
Consistency
I'm pretty relaxed whilst on maternity leave, we don't have a set in stone routine for our days. The only staples are meal times and bed times which has worked really well for both Eva and I in the past year. I didn't want to put the pressure on myself in the early days by signing up to 8 different baby classes because some days I just didn't want to leave my own little bubble. However it's so difficult to plan activities, keep to healthy eating routines or go to the gym when you take each day as it comes. Although 20 year old me would be appalled, it turns out I feel best when I have a consistent approach to my life and this can only be done when you know the routine for the days ahead.
Once I go back to work, Eva will settle into her new childcare and going back to work will provide me with a structured routine that will be the driving force for the rest of our lives. I might actually get fit and go to the gym again, who knows!
Deserve to fulfill my aspirations
The past year has taught me so much about myself that I never knew. I 'm an absolute worrier and I don't take perceived criticism of my parenting at all well. But I'm also resilient, strong and my family's future and safety is my number one priority. Let's face it, every mum puts their kids ahead of their own needs every single day. I will do every thing for that girl but for my own health I need something that is for me. I deserve to continue to work on my career aspirations, just because I became a mum doesn't mean that I stopped having needs and wants. My career ambitions can run parallel to that of my aspirations for my families future. Sure, it'll be a juggling act, it will be hard, there will be fights and tears. Women have discussed the guilt that comes with being a full time working mum but I'm more determined that ever to set some personal goals and smash them.
Financial
I'm extremely fortunate to get such a great maternity package from my employer. The fact that there is such a basic minimum requirement from employers shows what a long way we have to go in terms of better working requirements for women. Just because you are at home taking care of your infant doesn't mean that Nationwide stops asking for the mortgage to be paid every month. As soon as I became pregnant I devised a savings plan to ensure that I could still pay my bills during the three months that I was on SMP and then the last three months of zero pay.
Having a baby is such an overwhelming life change that adding financial worry to it just would have been too much for me. Luckily I was able to save enough during pregnancy to 'pay' myself during those more financial stringent times so I didn't notice it too much. However it did mean we couldn't afford to be overly extravagant such as going abroad this summer or doing certain work to the house. I'm really looking forward to being financially independent again and being able to save.
I feel like I've been in a stagnant state during these past six months because I can't do certain things until I'm back on the full time pay roll. Going back to work means we can start planning for our future and begin to tackle the very large 'to do' list on the house!
Being a role model for my daughter
We have such a momentous job raising children and I absolutely respect those parents that decide to stay at home. Unfortunately for us, that isn't an option. Therefore I am looking on the positives of working full time.Going back to work for me will provide an excellent opportunity to inspire and challenge my daughter.
Parenthood is all about being a great example to children, guiding them on the right path and hoping that your decisions will be the best thing for them. I want to demonstrate that hard work and determination will mean that you can achieve anything. I think that this is one of the greatest lessons that a child can learn from a young age. I watched my mum work as a single mother from the age of 4. I never doubted that she loved me and I always knew that she was doing it for our future. I read on the working mother blog that children look at how you approach work and will model it after you.
I think that the idea of 'balance' is just unrealistic and that there will always be an area of your life which suffers as you give another more attention. However the benefit of teaching Eva about responsibility, building relationships with people and the power of hard work is something that I'm so passionate about.
So here we are, ready to start our new normal. I'll check back in a couple of weeks to see how month one of working mum goes!
