What the books don't prepare you for..

 

Becoming a mum is overwhelming. I don’t think there is a woman who would deny that and so we read all the maternity and first time parenting books to prepare for it. However there were certain things I just didn’t expect during the first few weeks of baby Eva’s life.




Breastfeeding is really hard – For one of the most natural acts in the world, breastfeeding is so difficult. We had all the obstacles, tongue tie, cluster feeding and severe sleep deprivation. Both you and your baby are learning how to feed, after all they’ve had it easy for 9 months so it’s no wonder it takes a bit of time to get right. But don’t feel guilty if you have to top up with formula, I did for two days and it allowed me to get some sleep and heal a bit as Eva had her tongue tie treated.
Swaddling isn’t for every baby – I bought so many swaddles anticipating that it would help baby feel safe and replicate the womb. Eva hated it, kicked with such a rage every time the swaddle would go near her. I remember feeling so deflated thinking I wasn’t doing it right and I was failing her. Looking back it feels silly but with your hormones all over the place anything can put you over the edge and into a flood of tears.
Babies aren’t as fragile as you think – Before I had Eva, I had never so much as held a new born baby. She was so tiny weighing in at 6 lbs 6 oz that I thought of her as the most fragile precious thing in the world.  So attempting to put a wriggling baby into a way too big baby grow was my Everest. I spent 40 minutes on my first try, delicately putting a little leg in only for it to pop out a second later. Finally as I became more confident I realised she wasn’t going to break quite so easily.
Use an app to track feedings – Making sure your baby is fed is every mum’s biggest fear. And during the sleep deprivation and whirlwind I couldn’t remember when she last fed. I used an app called Baby Tracker which has options to track feeding, naps and nappies. This has eased my paranoia no end.

Don’t feel pressured into having everyone over- We hibernated for the first three weeks after I had Eva. My mum came over and made copious amounts of tea, pasta and cleaned up all in the background whilst Luke and I got to know our baby. After we had done our bonding we felt ready to let people come over for a cuddle but don’t feel pressured. New babies are a big draw for family and friends but just explain to them and send pictures instead if you want to.

Trust your instincts – You know your baby better than anyone, after all you two were pretty close for 9 months. So don’t listen to often unsolicited advice from people or feel pressured to do something you aren’t comfortable with. I didn’t want to use any non-organic product on Eva and so when my mum repeatedly told me to use talcum powder I had to explain why I wouldn’t be using it. My mum got it because she’s brilliant but sometimes people can churn out the old ‘ I used it with mine and they turned out fine’, just ignore them.

Quality time with your baby - I can’t recommend having skin to skin enough. It really helped me to bond with Eva especially as I was breastfeeding. So we made sure both Luke and I did this a few times a day in the start and it really helped to settle her when she was upset. The new born phase went by in such a flash that 15 weeks later it feels like a bit of a blur and thankfully I have about 500 pictures to look back on.

And lastly and maybe most importantly baby nails are so bloody hard to cut. Try and leave that job to someone else. What are your tips for becoming a first time mum? Add them below!